WAWBL Opening Day A Success: For Everyong But Commisioner

Perfect day for baseball. Lets play two. It seems as if everything was in perfect order for opening day of the 2009 WAWBL season in East Hartford, CT at Gorman Park Sunday. The weather is gorgeous, everyone is in a good mood, and no one is throwing up yet (like the championship last year). It seems too good to be true........

We have 32 eager guys ready to go, enough wiffle balls and bats for all eight teams, and NO FIELD.

Commissioner Alex Hurleys first mistake of the year, and it happens before the first pitch is even thrown. Mr. Hurley assumed that because there were no scheduling conflicts last year, that the same would be true this year. You know what happens when you assume Mr. Hurley? You make and ass out of you, and yourself.

Instead of planning ahead of time, or calling the park department to ask for schedules of parks, or even reserving the field himself, Mr. Hurley waited until the day of the first game to go down to the park to see if anyone was using the field, and it turns out there was. Not only was it just anyone, but it was Mr. Wood, the King of the Babe Ruth League. And let me tell you something, there is no kicking Mr. Wood out. He's the man of the family....If it were Derek Wood, then sure, we could just push him off the field because he wouldn't do anything to stop it. But taking your chances with Mr. Wood is like taking your chances against the Power Rangers, you just can't win. Especially if you disappear if you get hit in the "Z" belt buckle.

Commissioner Hurley also had a horrible day on the field today. Regarded as one of the top 5 players on "Jake Dumonds Big Board", Hurley did not live up to ANY expectations. Batting about .250 on the day with a measly 1 home run, it is safe to say he was the sole reason for the "Mustached Bandits" 0-2 start. Even Bryce Dumond, regarded as one of the laziest liabilities in the game, hit his first home run by hustling out an in-the-parker!!!!!

Mr. Hurleys bad day STILL didn't end there. Not only did he lead his team (as captain and supposed best player) to an 0-2 start, he then, frustrated, tried to not just trade Jake Dumond (his best player), he actually offered to GIVE HIM away. Mr. Hurley called Jake a word that started with a C, and ended with a You Next Tuesday. He did this even in front of Mckenzie, who came to support her fellow friends since she was not allowed to play***

****Side Note - Mckenzie was not allowed to play because Commissioner Hurley thought it would be a great idea to tell girls they can't play. Apparently he thinks we started a club for 8 year olds, or he just doesn't like quality competition of people like Mckenzie, and Nicole Lauer.

Back to the C-word. After Hurley unfairly called Jake the C word, and said he would be willing to trade him, there were immediately three different offers from 3 teams. The most intriguing ones so far were from Ryan Bjorkman who offered, 20 dollars, a 30 pack and Mike Natalie, for Jake Dumond in order to create the greatest dynasty in the history of the world. The second was offered by Kevin Macilvaine who offered 5 dollars, a wooden nickel, and a hand job. The only better offer, that would never be refused, would have been this.

It has yet to be heard if Mr. Hurley will accept any of these offers. It has been confirmed though that Jake Dumond is looking to be traded, not because he didn't have fun today, or thinks his team could do well. He wishes to be traded after being called a See You Next Tuesday, even though he kept his mouth shut the entire day, and had more home runs, RBIs, Hits, and lowest ERA, out of everyone on his team. Even after Jake did this, he did not live up to his "bad boy" (Shout out to Diddy) reputation by bragging and yelling, he simply just accepted defeat and said "we'll get them next time". Apparently Captain Hurley, or as I like to call him, Captain Fag, thought this was bad behavior and wishes to trade him.

So lets recap so far. Commissioner Hurley almost ruined the WAWBL before it started by not having a field. He was saved by assistant commissioner Dumond who recommended playing in Glastonbury. Captain Hurley then lead his team to an 0-2 start, then criticized his best player and offered to trade him.

So you would think Mr. Hurleys bad day would end there right? Wrong. Mr. Hurley then never gave Assistant Commisioner/Stat Keeper Dumond (is there anything this kid can't do), the stats at the end of the game, causing everyone to anxiously await the stats until further in the week. Without those stats, Jake will not be able to post anything else about opening day or how the teams are looking. I haven't seen someone crack under pressure like Mr. Hurley did since this kid.

All in all, opening day of WAWBL was a success. It was a beautiful day, I was THRILLED with the turnout, we didn't really have any fights, controversies or cases of dehydration. There were many good games, and lots of DINGERS.

Thank you all for coming to opening day, and PLEASE keep checking back often to see more updates and posts to this blog. Once I get the stats and standings from the Comish I will throw them up here as well. Also, please pass this blog around. The only way to get more people interested in the WAWBL is to inform people. Those who already know about it, thank you for being a fan of the blog and I hope you enjoy it this year, as much as the actual season.

Finally, if we can take one thing away from opening day that we all learned, it would have to be the facts that: Alex Hurley is awful at being
1)A Commissioner
2)A Captain/Coach
3)A Friend

THANKS FOR READING, SEE YA NEXT POST!

Sneak peak of next blog:
Stats, standings and team run downs.
Firsts of the 2009 WAWBL Season
A Recap of how Chris Haines cheated last year....see previous posts as well